Perhaps “hand in hand” is the ideal state two people are supposed to be. There is a saying, “you never miss the water till the well turns dry.” In this context, if ‘a sense of security’ is water, another means of water would be holding hands. Have you ever reached out for someone or your lover’s hands when distressed or in physical pain? This shows that our body knows that something happens when you hold someone’s hands, and now it has been proven that the effects are not placebo.
As a couple begins to become more intimately connected, most couples begin to hold hands. Of course, there are some exceptions, however in most cases, this is true. But the question is why? To put in an evolutionary point of view, this might be because this way, a couple has the lowest chance of breaking up. But in another point of view, this might be because this is the way a couple’s intimacy becomes stronger with at least the physical intimacy. However surprisingly enough, it might be the best way to make the most mental influence on the partner.
Men aren’t prone to doing so, but when women are mentally in distress or in pain, almost unconsciously, they reach out for someone’s hand. This is because holding someone’s hand results in some kind of relief. However, this feeling of relief is not just psychological. There is actually a real reduction of the pain we feel because it effects the secretion of hormones in the hypothalamus, especially the hormones related with stress - which gets effected greatly. Therefore, holding hands actually has the good effects that were expected. However, does this only apply to lovers or couples? Surprisingly, it doesn’t.
It lies as a mystery on why the applicants volunteered, but there was actually an experiment on this matter. It was conducted in the Psychological Science journal December 2006 Vol.17 “Lending a Hand: Social Regulation of the Neural Response to Threat”. It was about finding out the difference on what a girl felt when she was given a weak electric shock whilst inside a MRI machine – once holding a lover’s hand and once holding the hand of a person she had never seen before. The results were in some extent, as expected, but still scientifically fascinating.
As a result, when shocked all alone, the participant felt fear and pain at the same time, when shocked holding the hand of someone she did not know, the amount of fear was reduced but the pain was consistent. Finally when she was shocked while holding the hands of a loved one, both pain and fear reduced dramatically. This is direct evidence to the fact that when we experience physical pain while holding someone’s hands, it is reduced. This is probably the main reason why woman hold their loved one’s hands when giving birth to a child.
But that’s not the end. Further studies also show that holding hands with someone whose relationship is supportive and strong is beneficial because it reduces blood pressure and protects against future heart disease. Also, the latest research showed that oxytocin can calm someone down. Touch stimulates the production of oxytocin, which promotes a desire to touch and be touched, which as a result, calms people down.
Holding hands has many advantages. Like the fact that this month’s keyword is ‘hand in hand’, let’s hold our lover’s or friend’s hands when they are in pain or hardship.
 

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