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Civil Inattention: One of the Most Important Social Skills
Kim Jung-yeon  |  jikitty0205@cau.ac.kr
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승인 2018.05.08  20:31:01
트위터 페이스북 미투데이 요즘 네이버 구글 msn
Have you ever had your own situation where you do not want to speak deeply to others? It may be about your embarrassing part, faults, or something that you do not want to talk about without any reasons. There are some people who solve their worries or problems by telling others the thing which they are worried or why they are worried, but there are also other people who do not want anyone to know about their stories. Although it is said that sorrow is halved when shared, nowadays people often do not want to let others know their stories for no particular reason or because when they expose their feeling they may feel embarrassed and fear that others will exploit their vulnerabilities. When you find out that your friend goes to psychological counseling, it's enough to say, "If you have any problems, tell me. Are you okay? "But if you start by giving him a sympathetic look, your friend is bound to be uncomfortable. The virtue of living in this society is civil inattention. Apathy was originally used as a negative phrase, but recently appropriate indifference is a way to show manners to another. Only people who are involved in the event directly feel their emotions directly about it when it has been encountered. In addition, a look of extreme regret and sympathy over the incident distresses others. For example, one of the survivors of the Sewol accident wrote that they felt worse because of the people who were too sympathetic or curious about the incident. It is the same for a hailstorm of questions that we face when we meet relatives on holidays. “How are you doing with your studies?" “How was the result of your college entrance?" "How are you getting ready for work?" "When are you going to get married?” “Do you have a boyfriend?” and etc. When one question passes, another question comes up like an assignment. Because of these questions, many people are reluctant to visit their hometowns on holidays. It seems that each of us lives our lives well without being asked too many questions. Such excessive curiosity could give only discomfort to others. So, civil inattention could be the most necessary ability in modern society. We should try to look back and check whether our heartfelt sympathy, irresponsible compassion, and excessive interference hurts others or not. In the past, our country has been a society with a high tendency to be family-minded. The sense of communal bond was well developed. It is even said that we knew how many spoons and chopsticks our neighbor had. However, our society has been changed differently that even if someone died, the neighbor may not recognize the death, and now our excessive attention to others only leaves people to be uncomfortable. Inattention may sometimes seem heartless where one chooses to not get involved in other’s lives and on focus on their own life instead. However, sometimes the best way to help others is to just be by their side. All lives are different, and to only offer support when one asks for it could possibly be exactly what some people need.< 저작권자 © 중앙헤럴드 무단전재 및 재배포금지 >
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